OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
