do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
