just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
