allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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