and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
