She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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