It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
