well you can't waste a boner
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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