you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
