i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
