The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
