Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
