How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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