Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
