1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
