I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
