You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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