I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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