everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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