Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
