Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
