U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I believe in your delicious
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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