drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
