Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
