he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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