Tell her she can't have a vagina
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
