Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
