You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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