47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
