What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We need to get me chipped asap
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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