I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
