Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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