so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
