i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
