He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Alive.
So much puke
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
