So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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