Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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