tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
