I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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