girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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