And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
