I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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