And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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