thus making me awesome and them whores
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
last night I used snow as a chaser
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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