Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
do herpes really smell.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We had sex on a dog bed..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
