im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize