my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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