he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
