Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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