This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
