After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
