she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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