You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize